83 in Rhu

May 3rd, 2022

83 in Rhu

My brother wrote this rather clever poem for my Mother’s 83rd birthday.

I’m bloody stuck in bloody Rhu
I wish I was only 82
My bloody hip won’t bloody work
My bloody ankle bloody hurts
My bloody hair’s gone bloody white
My bloody face would cause a fright
And now I’m bloody 83
A bloody party just for me

The bloody party’s now in swing
I think I need a bloody gin
The bloody crab is bloody old
The bloody fish is bloody cold
The bloody bubbly’s bloody flat
The bloody flat is bloody crap
The bloody heating’s bloody dear
The bloody TV’s bloody queer

The neighbours hate my bloody guts
The kitchen floor is bloody fucked
My bloody husband bloody moans
There’s no signal on the bloody phones
The bloody factors ramp the price
The bloody weather isn’t nice
It bloody makes you want to sell
Stuck in bloody birthday hell